101 Hazards of Sex
by Annie Sprinkle with Camille Adams

   1. Leg cramps.
   2. Sand in your vagina from beach blanket bonko.
   3. Rug burn....Rope burn.
   4. Ejaculation mishaps - like sperm in the eye.
   5. Slipping on a soiled condom.
   6. Gagging.
   7. Swallowing a dental dam. A good reason to learn the Heimlich.
   8. Heart break....Heart attack.
   9. S/M accidents.
  10. Car accidents. You'd be surprised at the statistics.
  11. Lower back pain from trying position #105 in the Kama Sutra.
  12. Having to sleep in the wet spot.
  13. Soreness. The John Wayne stride will give you away.
  14. You may be too tired from fucking all night to get to work!
  15. Coitus Interruptus - embarrassment when caught in the act.
  16. Parental punishment.
  17. Performance anxiety.
  18. Impotence and premature ejaculation.
  19. Disappointment, dissatisfaction.
  20. Blue balls. Blue clit.
  21. Those pesky yeast infections.
  22. Venereal Diseases - HIV, herpes, gonorrhea, genital warts, etc.
  23. Unwanted pregnancy.
  24. Intestinal parasites from anilingus.
  25. Serious rectum damage. Items with claws and teeth are not recommended.
  26. Items can get lost in the rectum. Emergency room visits are very expensive and can get the attention of the tabloids.
  27. Laws are against you: In many states sodomy, prostitution, and homosexuality are still illegal.
  28. Censorship.
  29. You can lose your bid for presidency.
  30. You could be sued for sexual harassment.
  31. Blackmail.
  32. Some sexual cravings are politically incorrect.
  33. You might go to hell. (Though if you do, lots of other cool people will be there too!)
  34. You could lose your multi-million dollar Christian empire.
  35. Jealousy.
  36. Obsessive/compulsive behavior.
  37. Expensive phone bills from calling 1 900 PEE ON ME.
  38. Guilt.
  39. Life long trauma from childhood sexual abuse.
  40. Rape - Even though this is a crime of violence and power it is a serious hazard of sex.
  41. Fear and depression from thinking about all the hazards of sex. I can't deal with any more of this!


Copyright © 2002 Annie Sprinkle. All Rights Reserved. Used With Permission.